How you can tell if you have encountered a narcissist is after the relationship you are left no self-esteem, have no confidence left, feel as if you can’t make a simple decision and second guess yourself constantly. You are used to being lied to from the narcissist and having them play emotional mind games with you, which leaves you second guessing yourself. According to Psychology Today the narcissist has little empathy for people, a grandiose personality and a need for admiration. My experience with the narcissist found this all to be true.
My Experience With The Narcissist
After my husband died, I thought I had met the a perfect companion. Like the Tim McGraw companion. This man showered me with so much affection and attention and it was addicting. This is part of their motive. He told me he wanted to grow old with me, admired everything about me and praised my accomplishments as a woman. A few short months into the relationship (and after I was head over heals in love) this began to change.
Subtly, I started hearing about my faults. His family started sharing with me different versions of things they had heard from him. Thoughts started running amok in my mind. His children, who once adored me and told me how much they loved me, starting changing their stories as well. I was left in a constant state of confusion.
This prince charming was so sweet, treated me like a queen and expressed how he wanted to grow old with me. After the stressful years of caregiving , I was ready for someone to take care of me. And this is where they see your vulnerability and start their game of moving in for the kill
I have never heard of the term narcissist before I met this “man of my dreams”. It took a long time to realize later that I was the perfect victim to his behavior. A vulnerable widow who he could manipulate to his liking. By the time I had ruminated and analyzed his crazy behavior, I felt like a fool and I walked away. And he could have cared less because he had moved on to someone else.
The Lasting Effects
Unfortunately, this experience with him left me emotionally damaged. I have been to numerous counseling sessions. I have cried for hours. For the first time in my life, I became severely depressed. Only because of my son, did I pull myself up by the bootstraps and attempt to move on. However, his wound has affected me to this day.
Others aren’t so lucky. It seems as if you married the narcissist, you are forever engrained in the abusive behavior. They literally know how to work the system and they can get away with physical and emotional abuse. You are forever intertwined in the spider web and it takes a complete cut of the web with your scissors to get out. Your feelings are as you nothing and you feel like nothing. You are numb and it takes an extremely strong person to overcome this type of personality.
It is extremely difficult to recover from this type of abuse. Here is an article from The Healthy Place to see how to begin to get help from this abuse personality. You will need nerves of steel. However, it will be worth it to remain strong and to disengage with this type of personality.
Have you experienced narcissistic behavior? Please share. I would love to hear your story.